Every now and again I post something that inspires one of my legion of fans to write me. Recently I've heard from a number of friends who wanted to congratulate me on having a girlfriend. Today, I received this missive from a truly lovely person that I haven't yet met -- but I hope to!

I know two women who answered one of your former dating profiles. One would think that a man (I am being generous) your size would have big enough testicles to tell women when you are seeing someone. Enjoy sweet Jen while you can. How long do you think she will be satisfied with you? In the back of your mind, you probably wonder if [sic] what she sees in you. You better start throwing serious money at her if you want to keep her eyes off the muscular young hotties her own age.

Worth it? You definitely aren't.

Ryan

P.S. If you are so concerned about who reads your blog and censorship, take your morbidly obese ass to a store and purchase a journal.

I responded to Ryan, but I'm not sure if he'll actually see it because my bet is that he didn't use his real email account, or probably his real name, or possibly even his real gender. You can try to reach him at blingblingbaby@mail2world.com, but I doubt he'll respond.

Okay, frist impressions: I was hurt and offended for a second -- then the second passed and I did a little mental checklist and ran through how I handled everything during the time that I corresponded or met with people, then met Jen, then went away for the holidays, then went out with Jen again. And I remembered that I hadn't actually done anything wrong. At no point did I do anything inappropriate.

I played it safe. I didn't run out to the people I was chatting with online and say, "Hey, I went on a date last night with someone else. I have no clue if it will lead anywhere, but I thought you should know." I think that's pretty much understood to be standard operating procedure if you're dating in general and not dating someone in specific. When you're "on the market" you "play the field" until you find someone you get along well with and then you see if that will lead anywhere. Am I right?

When things seemed like they were going somewhere with Jen, I stepped back and thought, "It's not really appropriate to go out with anyone else until this goes one way or the other because I really don't want to mess things up with her." So, I didn't make any more dates, but I continued to chat until I had some resolution on the whole situation. When Jen and I formalized things, I let the people I was chatting with know about it as soon as possible. I had no interest in leaving anyone hanging, or being cruel, or mean, or whatever.

All of you, except this Ryan fella, know me well enough to know that I'm not like that.

Anyway, I responded to Ryan via the email address listed above. I told him I was sorry if I hurt a friend of his, but that wasn't my intent. Who knows if he'll see it, though.

Ryan's email has been a real highlight to my day. Even Jen thought it was funny. I hope you do, too.

And, Ryan, if you're going to try to insult someone, you should really get to know them first. Your blind jabs about the fact that I'm morbidly obese (and I am, my doctor says so!) mean nothing coming from a faceless stranger over email who has no clue what I'm like or what's going on in my life. As for you, well, I know your email was motivated from a good place, but you're really an ass. I hope your friend feels better soon. I didn't mean to cause her any pain.

Can I get an amen?