Friday, March 26, 2004

You know how sometimes you just get in a bad mood? Not one of those "I'm going to bite your head off" moods, but sort of a "blue funk" kind of mood? That's me tonight.

I probably shouldn't even be here writing about it because I'm not even in a really bad mood, I just feel kind of . . . sad?

Work's been going well -- and I know this has nothing to do with that because I never feel bad because of work. Angry? Maybe. But sad? No.

It's more likely the combination of going to see the new movie The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind and then going directly from there to see Jen for the first time in a couple of weeks. And then on the ride home realize that it's a month today that we stopped dating.

Really, feeling like this is pointless. Do I still like her? Sure, I still like her. Does that really matter? No, it doesn't. She's moving away in a while and I really need to just move on. Really, I have moved on, but every now and again I'm sad about the missed potential there. And I'm surprised by how quickly time passes.

One night earlier this week I arrived home late and walked upstairs, not really looking where I was going, and at one point about two-thirds of the way up the steps I stumbled and something moved a couple stairs ahead of me. An animal I could tell out of the corner of my eye. I got that weird tightened-stomach fear-of-the-unknown-and-unpredictable response that you get when something surprises you and you don't know how it will react. After righting myself on the step I looked up and saw it was a grey cat that looked afraid and completely off-guard -- for a second, and then it shot down the stairs as quickly as it could away from the large two-legged predator that surprised it. It was funny how scary that cat was to me when all I knew was that there was an animal on the stairs with me.

The same thing happened a couple nights later, but this time s/he was on the landing in front of my neighbor's door. I got all the way up the stairs and to my door before I noticed it. I tried to call it over, but it ran off again. She looks like a sweetie, but so far I haven't been able to tell if she's a housecat or feral. Hopefully we'll make friends soon.

The rest of this weekend should be pretty normal. I'm planning to meet up with Shane to buy comics on Saturday, then go to a party that Will is having, and Sunday I'm playing games at my old boss' house. Is it weird that the thing I'm looking forward to the most is the trip to buy comics?

Time to read, then bed. Everything should be better tomorrow, he says knowing better.


Post a Comment

<< Home