Friday, November 11, 2005

What? An Update?

Why yes, fair reader, I'm actually updating during the week. Sure, it's late Thursday night, but still, you should take what you can get.

See, the thing is, I don't have too much to write about. Just normal everyday things that are so normal and everyday that they're actually a little depressing. Work is good, but I can't really write about anything going on there because it's not appropriate. Although I am a little excited about testing out a new game tomorrow with a bunch of kids. (I have to ask, is it annoying that I say things like that, but I don't explain? That's the sort of thing I worry about when I post here, that I tell you something, but not anything meaningful.)

I had a nice lunch with Shana today and we got to talking about weight and I said something that I think I shouldn't have. That is, I don't think I'll ever be "thin". That is to say, I don't think I'll ever get down to what my doctor thinks is my ideal weight (235 lbs. for those playing at home). I'm going to the gym, being good about my food, am perfectly healthy, etc., etc., but I really don't think I'll ever get there. The problem is...have I given up? Does it matter if I have? Is this the first step to just accepting that, yep, this is what I'm going to be like for the rest of my life? And is "accepting" that just the first step to rationalizing a way to deal with that fact? All I know for sure is that it sucks. I'd like to know what I'd look like and how my life would be different if I were fit. (Note that I didn't say better, mostly I think it would be interesting to see how it would be different.) The problem is that my age and my body aren't working with me on this quest. It's odd to say, but I'm definitely into the range of middle-aged (sorry, Mom, it's true, your kids are middle-aged). Even so, I will attempt to stay at least as healthy as I am for as long as I can.

I've been a sleeping fool lately. I go to bed at mostly reasonable times, but if I get anything less than eight hours of sleep I'm exhausted. Maybe it's due to the weather, or how much light we have (or lack) every day, or maybe it's because of working out, but no matter what I've really needed a full eight hours lately.

That said, I think I'm going to watch part of a DVD and go to bed.


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