Wednesday, April 28, 2004

The wait is over! I went with Shane early this morning to pick up our copies of City of Heroes. We played for a bit tonight and created our first characters: Volcana and The Darker (yeah, not our first choices for names). I'm going to go create another character now.

I swear I won't write about this often, but the game really looks great and character creation is amazing.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

I know, I know, I just updated and then I go and post something else right away. Go read the post below, then come back and enjoy the first image from Killer Angel -- the comic that Shane and I are working on.

A couple of things of note the past couple of days.

First, I got a nice email from Kandy. She and I worked together at my old job before moving to Seattle. She said she stops by now and again to check up on all the cool things she's missing by not living in a major metropolitan area. She even pointed me to Roq la Rue, a gallery that I'm really going to have to check out. I mean, how can you not want to go to a place that features art by someone named Mona Superhero? Too cool.

I traded some emails with Kevin T. over the past couple of days. I'll be out in Philadelphia for a convention in about a month, so we're going to try to get together for dinner or something. I'd like that. Hopefully we can work it out and all my time isn't sucked up by the convention when I'm there.

Beth came over from Seattle to have lunch, so Shana, she and I went for Indian at a place near work. Very tasty. It was kinda fun to see Beth someplace other than her house. Weird, too, but fun. She's trying to decide what she wants to do with her life and looking for a job at the same time. I don't think that sounds like fun. Too much not knowing.

Tuesday night I sat down with Jim and Mike to write up characters for my Mutants & Masterminds game. We ended up with Silverback (similar to the Beast) and Johnny Dragon (mystical martial artist). They should work well with the concept I have for the game. Shane may join the fray, too, but I don't know if he'll actually follow through. I have to sit down this week with James and Ethan to work out their characters. So far it looks like the game will be fun. I'm looking forward to it.

On Wednesday I'm going to try to get to Best Buy as early in the day as possible and pick up my copy of City of Heroes. Seth's been enjoying it and I'm keen to check it out. Heh, I said "keen."

I'm going to go make some notes and maybe watch some more of Singin' in the Rain, which I started watching this morning. I'm not a big fan of musicals, but I love Singin' in the Rain -- at least I think I do, I haven't watched it in forever and I don't remember any of the parts I've watched so far. I finished watching Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust last night. Yeah, that's a weird pairings of movies to watch one after the other.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Time for a long weekend post.

Friday I skipped out of work a little early so that Shana and I could run some errands. First off, we headed to Kirkland to pick up some things at Costco. Exciting. Then we ran downtown to find some gifts for Cathy's birthday. When we'd finished all of that we were near Katie, Kate, and Beth's, so we swung by there and hung out for a while. Around 6:30 we went to get ready for dinner, wrap our presents (just little things because we were planning a surprise party for Cathy on Sunday) and went to dinner.

We met the others at Bada Lounge. It was a nice dinner -- a bit spendy for the portions, but good -- and I had a drink. I don't drink a lot, but it was pretty obvious that I hadn't had a drink in a long time, because after finishing the one drink I could feel it. That surprised me.

I'm also convinced, after seeing a number of the women at the restaurant and on the town, that all the women that I don't know are sluts. And I don't mean that in the nice way, I mean that in the "you dress like a whore" kind of way. Sure, sure, maybe I'm turning into an old prude (yeah, right) but I really was . . . shocked, no, disgusted, no, bothered -- I'll go with bothered -- by the way many/most of the women dressed. There were a couple wonderful examples of at the bar that we were all astounded by how little clothing they felt they needed to barely wear to get the attention they must have needed ever so badly from anyone with eyes. It was funny in a sad way. Maybe I'd understand it better if I were one of the Beautiful People. I might have a better grasp on that need to be the center of attention, to show off. At some point that need becomes unhealthy. Anyway, after all that, we had fun. Oh, after dinner we stopped by a bar called Shorty's. It's a small bar with a circusy motif and video and pinpall machines. Pretty fun on the right night I imagine.

Saturday I slept in, picked up comics with Shane, walked around with he and Cathy for a while, then went home to do laundry. While the laundry was going I took care of other household things like taking out the garbage and picking up a bit. Then I sat down to do . . . nothing. And I was bored out of my mind. There wasn't anything I felt like doing, luckily Katie had mentioned on Friday that she'd be free on Saturday night, so I called her. She and Kate were making some food, but I was welcome to come over and hang out, so I did. We couldn't convince Shana to come over, so instead we went to her place, chatted, and watched a television broadcast of Almost Famous. Even with the editing, it was still an excellent film. I need to watch the real version soon.

Sunday the only things I had planned were to go to Cathy's surprise party and go to work. The party was at 1:00 or so, so I picked up some drinking water, a cooler, and ice and headed over to Volunteer Park. It was a surprise party and everything came together perfectly. Everyone showed up early, everyone brought what they were supposed to, and the birthday girl showed up a little later -- suspecting nothing -- and was honestly surprised and a bit confused by us when she stepped into the clearing and we all yelled "Surprise!" It was fun.

We spent the afternoon making balloon (sort-of-)animals, smacking a pinata, playing frisbee, badminton, and pin the tail on the donkey, throwing the football around, talking, and being lazy in the sun. It was a lot of fun. I cheated on my diet and had a birthday cupcake and some saltwater taffy -- I'm a sucker for saltwater taffy. I don't know if I'll post any pictures of the day here, but you can look here for some. The first few photos are from Friday night's get-together.

After all the fun had been had, I drove to work and helped Matt with some of the things he's been working on all weekend. I was there for a couple of hours and now I'm home, about to get ready for bed. All-in-all, a good weekend with lots of relaxing and visiting with friends.

Seth's announced on his site that he'll be making his way out here soon, and I'm excited by it and a little weirded out by it at the same time. It's so odd to think that he's moving here. I wish I could make the drive across the country with him like we didn two years ago when I moved out here. Anyway, see you soon, Seth. I'll even have some friends to introduce you to, so you'll be a few steps ahead of me when I moved.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Okay, I already typed this once and then somehow deleted it, so I'm going to be brief.

I played the next installment of Savage Worlds: X-COM tonight. It was a lot of fun because we got to kill what we thought were clones (Whoops!) and then fight mind-controlled bears and dogs. I'm still really liking the way the system works and I'm looking forward to playing more.

Wednesday night I was drafted into taking out two visitors to the office along with most of the rest of my department for dinner. We went to the Alibi Room in Post Alley. It was good, but it took about three hours all told to be served and leave -- which was a little . . . long, in my opinion. There were eight of us, but even so, that shouldn't be that difficult.

During part of the dinner we started talking about weird candy and coming up with some good additions to the list. When I checked my email earlier today, Vic had sent around a link to Bad Candy. There's some really weird stuff there.

I've had a ton of meetings this week for some reason. Some of which have been very, very good and constructive. I'm also happy because we made the decision of who to hire for the open position at work and we'll be letting everyone know on Friday. Friday will be a busy day for me because I have a lot to do in the morning and then I'm taking the afternoon off to run some errands and do some shopping with Shana for Cathy's birthday. Which is Friday. And so is my mom's.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Seth mentioned his Gmail account and now it looks like I have one, too. I'll play with it more tomorrow.

I've started dreaming with more regularity. Or, at least, remembering my dreams. I've only had a handful of dream in the past couple of years and I've had quite a few in the last couple of weeks. I tend not to dream in a new place and I have to be pretty comfortable, so I guess this means I'm settling in a bit out here.

I've been spending too much time at work. Sometimes it's to stay late and get some work done when no one's around, but often it's to socialize and relax. Regardless, it means I get home late and never have time to do anything constructive. I watched the rest of Leon: The Professional, but I don't know if that counts as constructive. I also chatted with Seth and Chris a bit, which was nice. But as for real work or organizing here at home, nah, nothing to speak of.

I didn't get to do anything for the game I'm starting on Tuesdays because everyone was busy tonight. Kind of a bummer, but next week looks promising. Maybe by then I'll know what we're going to play.

Monday, April 19, 2004

Have you ever received input from people, gotten advice on something from different people, or been told to do different things by different people -- all of whom have valid points -- and then not know how to proceed? Not know how to make that final step to a decision?

Well, Seth and I came up with a good way to make the hard decisions. Hell, any decision.

Listen to the advice, then think about the people that gave you that advice, then ask your self this question; Who'd win in a fight? That's right, who'd win? Whoever walks out the winner in your mental battle is the person whose advice you should follow.

I think I making all my decision in this way in the future. Sure, that probably means I'll have to vote for Bush over Kerry, but I'd, for sure, have to vote for Powell if he ran! I could be wrong, maybe Kerry's scrappier than I seem to think, but my feeling is that Bush is a dirty fighter . . . and he'd most likely be armed.

Try it. Just for a day. Plus it works well when you have opinions of your own and someone else gives you advice; could you take them in a fight? Then do what you want -- you already know what'll happen if it comes to blows.

Who says nothing good can come of this? I know have a fool-proof method of decisionmaking. Foolproof.

Except for pacifists. It bothers me that under this decision-making model that I wouldn't have listened to what Ghandi had to say. Ah, well.

By the way, I'm gonig to try to say "Nothing good can come of this" more often in my blog. I'm going to make it show up as often as possible, so that no matter what search engine you use, when you search for that line, you get my blog. Mostly because I think it would be cool to show up first.

I'm still working on ideas for what to run on Tuesdays at work and unfortunately everyone is being very agreeable on what they'd like to play, which means they've all said, "Oh, pretty much anything would be good. I'd just like to play in a game." Grrr.

Dad's birthday was Sunday. Mom's is Friday. I'd forgotten to ask the dates earlier in the month, so now they're cards will be late. Well, Mom's should get there on time. I wish I'd remembered to ask earlier. Bad son.

Time for me to go make some more notes for the game.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

People can have fun doing anything.

I went for a walk this evening and as I passed the back of the grocery store I live behind I saw an employee of the store throwing away some expired product (at least I assume it was expired). He was throwing away eggs. He stood back from the enclosed dumpster and whipped the eggs at the back of the dumpster. It looked like fun except for the couple of eggs that shattered in his hand as he threw them.

The rest of the weekend was at least as much fun as that. Friday I went out to dinner with Shane and Cathy. We tried to go to Dragonfish, but when we got there it was closed for renovations and won't reopen until next Saturday. So, we walked up and around the corner to have dinner at Bambuza. None of us had ever been there and we really enjoyed it. The entrees were very good. It wasn't very busy which is a shame. If you're in town, check it out.

Saturday I got up and watched The Virgin Suicides DVD that I'd borrowed from Shana via Katie, Kate, and Beth. It was very good -- frustrating in parts -- but well-written and funny in an odd way. After the movie I ran some errands, picked up comics with Shane, went shopping with him for some things for Cathy's birthday next weekend, and then went home. Shane and I went shopping in lower Capitol Hill and the more I see of that area, the more I like it. I may have to look into moving this summer sometime. There's too much in the city that I can't really take advantage of from where I am now. I'd like to live in a more vibrant area than I do.

I picked up the DVD of Kill Bill Vol. 1, picked up Shana and went to Jen and Hayes' to watch the movie. When it was over we hopped in the car to meet Shane and Cathy at Cinerama to watch Kill Bill Vol. 2. We all enjoyed it. After visiting at Shane and Cathy's a while, we went home. I think I got to bed around 4:00.

Sunday I woke up at a reasonable time and started watching a copy of Vampire Hunter D that I borrowed from Vic a while ago. It's an anime classic, but I have very little good to say about it. Kind of a let down on both the story and art side of things.

Other than watching a ton of movies this weekend I worked on some ideas for the game I'm going to start running on Tuesdays (I think that'll be the day). I'm going to poll everyone tomorrow and see what they'd prefer to play, because I don't have a strong feeling one way or another -- although I'd love to play Mutants & Masterminds again, just to keep the system fresh in my head.

I had lunch with Chris from the company that publishes M&M. We had a nice visit and swapped some product, which was cool.

Um, now I'm bored, so I'm going to go read, then go to bed.

Friday, April 16, 2004

I just returned from playing a very entertaining game of Savage Worlds that's set in the X-COM world. X-COM is an old video game that I remember watching Kerry play years ago. The system worked amazingly well for this game and I'm really looking forward to playing the game and using the system more. It was great and I highly recommend it.

Kevin asked when people will get to see or read more about the comic I'm working on and unfortunately I'm going to wait a while before I say much here. When I do I'd like to have a good picture to go along with it -- to give a good sense of the character and the art style.

I talked to Dr. Chris and it looks like he'll be headed out here in the next couple of months, but he's looking for a place to stay. He's welcome to crash here, but I have some friends that are looking for a house-sitter in June, so that may work for him.

I'm tired, to I think I'm going to bed now.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Here's what Seth said about the comic (thanks for re-informing me):

"It's like Keith Giffen read Goodwin and Simonson's complete run on Manhunter over and over, then set out to write Sandman based on Neil Gaiman's outlines." That's a good thing, for those of you who have no idea what we're talking about.

And there you go.

I've finally realized what Greg was talking about when he mentioned the Bunz t-shirt. It was a t-shirt for the game Rune that I received a few years ago. The font used made the name look like it said "bunz" (to the people at work it did, at least). I don't know if the folks at Human Head still have any, but I'll find out.

Tuesday night I finished up the comic script I was working on and turned it over to the artist Wednesday. He's very happy with the results and I'm really looking forward to what he does on it. The style of art he's thinking of for this book will be stunning and I hope I can get some sample images to post -- just so you can see.

I jiggled with the script a bit more this evening and it's looking good. Seth was nice enough to give me some feedback and I was happy to hear that it held together as well for him on a first-read as it did. He had a good description of what the story was like but I forget the exact wording. Something like, "This is what you'd get if Keith Giffen read (something, I forget what) fifty times and then tried to write Sandman." If you're a comic fan that will make some amount of sense.

I'm still trying to organize a gaming night at work, but every night seems to be bad for someone, so it's difficult. My boss had mentioned that he'd be interested in playing Deadlands, but then he said he'd like to play just about anything, so I'm going to have to think about what I'd really like to run. It's been a long time since I've run or played anything regularly and I'd love to get something going -- especially if I could alternate weeks with someone else. At the moment I'm tempted to try Deadlands (either the Western setting or the post-apocalyptic setting), d20 Modern, something D&D, Mutants & Masterminds, and I'm sure a number of other games if I were to go look at my bookshelf. I'll think about this some more.

I need to start having people over for things. Parties, whatever. Before I moved here I used to have people over all the time and it's weird that I don't do that anymore. I think that happened because I didn't know anyone when I first moved here, but now I do, so I should get back in the swing of that.

This is really just for me in the future because I think it'll be funny to read that -- Shane and Cathy bought their new car yesterday -- named The Darkness -- and retired their old car -- The Guffy. The Darkness is a great-looking car for a 1977 Datsun 280Z.

When I started writing I really didn't have anything to say and now I really don't want to stop typing. Why do I get like that? It's weird.

Monday, April 12, 2004

I'm a little bummed.

Shane and I went to Best Buy today to pick up the pre-order disk for City of Heroes, but they were all sold out. City of Heroes is an online game that looks very cool and is all about playing superheroes, so I'm interested to say the least. Seth's playing the Beta version of the game that's running now and I'm very jealous.

Maybe when this game comes out we can all play superheroes online together! Wouldn't that be the best! (Okay, maybe there was a bit of sarcasm there, but actually I'm pretty excited to check this puppy out.)

Um, that's about all for now.

I've finished up some big projects at work, so I've actually been able to dedicate some time to the administrative side of my job lately. That's been nice because it's something I feel I neglect too much in favor of actually making the games. Both need to get done and the administrative stuff always loses out.

Friday was a fine day at work. Nothing spectacular, although I did kidnap a couple of people and force them to play a couple games of Diceland. It was fun. I played the game last week and it has some interesting tidbits.

Shana needed to do laundry and since she's a cheapskate (hi Shana!) she accepted my invitation to use my place. We spent the evening hanging out, watching tv, and going to dinner, while her laundry was in the works. It was an action-packed evening.

Saturday I slept in, met Shane for comics and to run a couple of other errands. I even bought a scale, so I can see how this diet thing's been going. I've been walking instead of going to the gym, so I haven't had a scale available to me. Now I do and I can say that my "diet" is working. After the errands I hung out at Shane and Cathy's all night and talked with Shane about the comic we want to make. He has some great visuals for it and we hashed out a number of great ideas of it. Later in the evening we went to Jen and Hayes' to watch a movie and socialize a bit.

Sunday I got up and ready to meet a bunch of people for Easter brunch down at the Broadway Grill (sucky website). Twenty of the twenty-four of us that were supposed to be there actually showed up. It was a relaxed event and we had a good time.

The weather was gorgeous today (and for the past few days actually), so it was nice to get out and drive and walk around. When I got home from brunch I opened the windows to air out my apartment since it's been closed up all winter. Then I sat down in front of the computer and worked on the comic until around seven o'clock when I walked down to grab dinner with Kevin and Kim.

We do dinner every now and again and I was glad to be able to grab them before they'd put something in the oven. We had a nice meal and they were convinced that I should ask out our waitress. Admittedly, I like waitresses (I have no idea why. It may have something to do with the fact that they're always nice to you and they bring you food.), but I don't think it's cool to ask out a waitress. It's their workplace and who knows when they're flirting just to get a better tip -- which I know they do from waitresses I've known in the past. So, anyway, no. Not for me, thanks.

I've continued to work on the comic and I've gotten a lot done, but I still have a couple of pages to go. Regardless, I'm going to turn everything I have over to Shane tomorrow and we'll go over it. Then I can make changes and he can start drawing.

Wow, it's warm in my apartment tonight. I have no idea why.

Thursday, April 08, 2004


I did it.

Comments enabled. Gab away.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I haven't been going to the gym, but I've taken four or five walks in the past week or so. That's definitely a good thing. I really need to get a scale, too. I only ever weighed myself at the gym . . . and since I haven't been going I haven't weighed myself. I'm kinda curious.

I mention the above, because I just returned from a walk around Bellevue. It's funny the different muscles you start to feel when you exercise in ways you haven't in the past. Wow are my shins tight.

I had a really weird dream early this morning and it woke me up and then I couldn't go back to sleep. Actually, it wasn't a weird dream, it was a disturbing dream. Damn it. I wasn't going to write about it here, but now I feel like I have to explain.

Briefly, in my dream: I had an office in a large warehour/parking garage-type building. Walk in a side door and there's a wooden floor on about a 25 degree angle (up) and it just ends suddenly about 8-10 feet into the room. Then it drops down into nothing. Across the way it looks like a parking ramp or empty storage. Also on the oddly-angled floor is a staircase that leads to an office. Up the stairs is where these college kids run a guided ski trip tour, sort of thing. My office is through a door under the wooden stairs leading up to their office. There's no railing at the edge of the floor, so I always walk along the staircase. Today, I do the same, but there's someone standing outside my door who says, "Oh sorry, there's someone changing in there." I know they're going on a tour with the college kids. No problem. The door opens a second later and a little girl (maybe 6 or 7) in a long, pink nightshirt steps out and looks up at me. She moves around, still looking at me, and takes a step -- foot clearly searching for the step that must be there -- and falls off the edge of the wooden floor. I can't reach her and see her fall. About three floors down she realizes she's falling and starts to scream, then she falls past the light coming through the windows and disappears into the darkness.

And I wake up. See. Creepy and disturbing, but not in a conventional sense.

Anybody got an explanation for that?

Monday, April 05, 2004

First off, I must apologize to Kerri for misspelling her name all the way through yesterday's post.

Secondly, I received a long, well-written and just plain great email from Kerri. I wouldn't presume to post it here, but take my word that it explained a lot about why Jeff made the decision to become Kerri. And it reminded me what it was like to be in school and be picked on for being different. I forgot how easy it is to fall back on the defense mechanism of just trying to blend in so that no one notices that you're different -- and tries to beat you up because you're a freak. Social pressure isn't so invisible sometimes.

Y'know, I'd really like to get a "comments" thing set up in this blog. Seth has directed me to links on how to do this before, but I've never been able to invest the time to figure it out. I'll have to get on that. I feel like I'm losing the blog wars . . . if there is such a thing. And if there isn't, there ought to be!

Nothing too exciting at work today, but I ended up staying late to drive home a friend/co-worker who had to stay late for a meeting. It was a nice, quick trip into Seattle. The thing is, every time I drive anywhere in my car now that the weather is getting nicer, it reminds me that I really need to get my stereo fixed. I miss my music.

I received a nice Easter card from my grandma today. There was five dollars in it with instructions to buy some jelly beans on her. Unfortunately I can't really eat jelly beans right now (and Lord knows I loves me the jelly beans!) so I'll spend the money on "sweets" of some other kind.

The other night I sat down and started writing out ideas for different stories and settings. I've really been feeling the need to do some writing and be more creative on my own time. After I wrote out those ideas I opened another document and just started writing a story off the top of my head. I have no idea where it will go, but I'm working on ideas in the back of my mind that may work well.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

Full moon tonight.

Daylight savings time ended this morning, so we all lost an hour out of the day.

Thursday was nowhere near as exciting as I wrote the other day. Instead it was a pretty normal day. Actually, I can't think of anything that really stands out.

Friday, however, was pretty cool because work paid for all of us to go see Hellboy during the middle of the day. It may be the best adaptation of a comic character to film ever. I really liked Spider-Man and the X-Men movies, but this is probably better than those. It's certainly the truest representation of a comic character on film to date. I'm sure I'll get it on DVD when it comes out. I'm even tempted to see it again in the theatre.

Friday night I went to dinner with Jason and Liz. We went to a place in the mall that we'd heard was pretty good. It was. Then we stopped by Border's afterward and I picked up a couple novels. Two of the novels are short novels based around some of the signature characters from D&D. I'm curious to read those, but I expect them to suck. The other was the new Steven Brust novel. I like his stuff.

We ran into Shane and Cathy at Border's. They'd just left work and decided to do some shopping before heading home. It was fun to chat with them for a bit. It was odd to see them turn up there. Seemed too random to be true for some reason.

Saturday I lazed around, did some reading and then took three bags of carb-filled food from my kitchen to Katie, Kate, and Beth's place. Beth was particularly happy because she's short of cash and now she has a supply of food. I didn't go to their place just for that, actually, they were having a cookout and it was just handy to take the food over at the same time. I had a good time. It was nice and relaxing. It was a nice, low-drama event.

Shana, Shane, and Cathy showed up a while after I got there and were very happy because they'd found a new apartment for Shane and Cathy. They've been talking about moving since Shane returned and it sounds like they found a really nice apartment near Broadway on Capitol Hill -- actually only a short distance from Katie, Kate, and Beth's.

After the cookout, around 8:30, I went over to a party at Jeff's house. Jeff is a gaming buddy that I haven't actually gamed with very much (hardly at all, unfortunately), but I've always liked him. His parties tend to be gamer-filled and surprisingly high-energy and social (for gamers). Unbeknownst to me, since the last time I'd seen Jeff, he's decided/realized that he's transgendered, that is, is actually a woman in a man's body. And he's decided to actually make the transition from one to the other. Great, do what makes you happy. I'm not in his -- now -- her head. I don't know how or why she came to the decision. I don't know what life-event makes you look at things and then want to change sexes and I don't understand it, but if it will make her a happier person, then go for it. It hurts no one. And if it's true, then she'll be much happier -- and if it's not, at least she's out of the gene pool.

Carrie (ne Jeff) may read this and I hope she's not offended by the above. I want her to be happy. I don't care if you're male or female or both or neither. I liked you before and I'll probalby like you now and in the future.

Anyway, the party was a bit off because apart from the socially maladjusted gamers there were also a number of other transgendered people there that Carrie has met over the past months. It made for a weird mix and I got the feeling that there was a humongous elephant in the room and no one was talking about it. It was interesting to watch as everyone socialized and sort of grudgingly accepted that, yeah, maybe everyone was just as messed up as they were. "So, you're a woman in a man's body, eh? You got it easy. I'm a gamer," seemed to be the thought process going on.

Watching Carrie's behaviour got me to thinking. Jeff hadn't been the most manly man ever, but watching her in her new persona of Carrie was intrigueing. Jeff had walked like a guy, talked like a guy, moved like a guy, and . . . well, what the hell does that mean? I don't really know, but I don't think it was an act. I don't think he had to actively make himself behave a certain way. However, now, as Carrie, she's adopted what society views as very feminine traits; everything from holding her shoulders back and thrusting out her non-existent chest, to holding her hand over her mouth and tee-heeing, to how she crossed her legs, to how she stood, to talking in a high voice, to just about everything else.

This got me to wondering; if you weren't acting like this before and this is they way you really are, then why weren't you acting like this before? If it was due to some pressure from society to "act like a man", then why did you care about what society thought -- and if you've changed the way you act now so that you "act like a woman", I mean, why bother? All you're doing now is playing to stereotypes. Playing to what society thinks of as male or female. Who cares? Be yourself.

I don't act a certain way because society demands it. At least I don't think I do. I certainly don't act the way I do 24 hours a day because that's how society thinks I should act. Sure, there may be moments that I don't do things because they're socially unacceptable, but that's really a different matter . . . and my whole personality wouldn't change if I decided to do the things that I think society would find unacceptable. So, why then, has Carrie completely changed her demeanor to fall in line with what society thinks of as female?

I don't have the answers. I hope Carrie does. But honestly, that was the weirdest thing about the whole situation. Do what you need to be happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. I really beleive that. This situation just got me thinking.

Kinda heavy for a Monday morning, eh?

Thursday, April 01, 2004

I'll start with the smallest thing that went wrong and go from there:

I almost cut the tip of my index finger off completely making dinner. I was cutting up some chicken and the knife slipped and glided through the tip of my finger. Blood everywhere.

My car was broken into at work. Whoever did it broke the passenger window, stole the stereo and then set it on fire. The fire spread quickly, but luckily, the building fire extinguishers went off. Of course they malfunctioned, so not only did they not manage to put out the fire raging in my car, but they also turned on inside the building and soaked everything. Books. Computers. Printers. Everything.

Walking home from work I was mugged and beaten by muggers behind the mall.

I have food poisoning from dinner and I've been throwing up all night. It's awful.

When I got home I found my neighbor dead on the landing to my apartment. The cat that lives in the area was chewing on his ear and black blood had leaked from the wound, coating his face and caking the cat's muzzle.

When I reported the body to the police they arrested me, but I escaped and locked myself in my apartment. They're still out there trying to get in, but I've locked the door, turned off the lights and refuse to answer them. I think it's working.

It's April 1st, so I had to try something, right? Last year I fooled a lot of people with my post, but I couldn't really repeat that again this year. My mom already warned me that she wasn't going to believe a thing I wrote here today -- but I still had to try something.

Happy April Fool's Day.

I hope your day is better than mine!